Staring OCD can be one of the most stressful compulsions out there.
Along with being exhausting, compulsions can cause embarrassment, self hate or doubt, and prevent sufferers from wanting to leave the house.
Compulsive staring is very common, often at objects, people and body parts such as genitals. It can help validate checking compulsions, or may occur more as a tic. It can be staring at the tap obsessively to make sure it is off, or staring at people because of tics associated with Tourette’s.
So what is this staring problem disorder… thing?
There are (at least) two different experiences with Staring OCD, so this post is in two sections.
A staring problem may consist of the following:
- Compulsive staring at something you consider inappropriate, embarrassing or without reason
- Compulsive staring during a ‘checking‘ compulsion, such as a bathroom tap to make sure the check is valid and the tap is off
Although this is often considered OCD, it could be due to a tic disorder or Tourettic-OCD.
For some, staring compulsions are purely tics, and we will get to some examples of this.
An OCD staring compulsion
A short story from an anonymous OCD sufferer:
For over a decade I worked in hotels, varying from three to five-star. I loved and hated it, the crazy and unpredictable environment matched my personality well.
It also raised my stress levels which is never good with OCD.
Whilst working on the front desk I found myself fighting the urge to stare at certain moments. Not every time, but often when I knew it was most inappropriate. These would more than likely be at a woman’s cleavage if she was wearing a more revealing top, or at a specific disability that I knew was rude to look at.
As a male in my twenties this could so easily have been deemed just ‘typical male’ behavior, especially if someone is wearing something revealing.
But there was no pleasure in an urge to carry out compulsive staring. Only anxiety, a need to quickly hand them their room key and get them out of sight.”
Staring at genitals/private parts is very common
Many people have a similar urge to look at someone’s genitals, or ‘private parts’.
Often there is no limit as to who- or what- is on the receiving end. It could be someone of either sex, a family member or friend. An animal or an object.
OCD attaches to our fears and what we consider ‘inappropriate’. The reason why staring at someones private parts is such a common theme in OCD is because we don’t want to do it.
It’s the reason why people don’t seek therapy for staring at the vast ocean or a beautiful tree. We don’t have those horrible, intrusive thoughts about the ocean, nor the same self hate for thinking about it or worries of being caught doing it.
OCD thrives on what we would hate to do, and tries to convince us that we want to do it.
If there is a sensory urge to stare, this could be Tourettic-OCD also known as ‘Just Right OCD’.
Staring problems because of tic
A staring problem isn’t always due to obsessional thoughts.
This urge can almost be Tourette-like, and can seem impossible to distinguish from a tic, if it isn’t one.
Another short story from a London commuter with Tourette describes this feeling:
“I have found myself staring on the London Underground. It is almost an unwritten rule to never look at another passenger on the tube, let alone start conversation.
This tic is a nightmare, as the layout of the carriages means I always face someone directly. Sometimes I get it when waiting for the train as well.
The last place I want to look someone in the eyes is the underground, at night. Especially if it is towards someone that feels threatened, or looks threatening to me. But with Tourette, this makes my desire to look even stronger and harder to resist.”
Staring can be a way to validate a ‘checking’ obsession
Some people find they have some kind of staring problem disorder during routine checks. It could be:
- checking the taps to know they aren’t dripping
- check the fridge is closed and won’t pop open
- stare at the alarm symbol on the phone to know it has been set
Staring is a way to validate checking. The problem is obsessive staring can lead to longer and more frequent staring compulsions that OCD feeds off.
There aren’t many studies on a specific ‘staring’ compulsion, as so many different compulsions come from the same neurological processes.
For some it may seem like a tic, and in this ‘checking’ example it seems to manifest through OCD.
Talking helps with trying to stop staring compulsions
Therapists specialising in OCD and anxiety disorders understand the nature of these thoughts.
Many people have benefited from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and similar forms of therapy to understand specific behaviours.
Exercises such as Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can help us understand when we are carrying out compulsions and help stop compulsions taking over.
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18 responses
Deafess and sudden hearing loss rewired my brain to exactly the type of staring OCD you described and is for me very destressing sexual staring OCD women’s breasts mens genitals door checking tap checking not so bad I can live with that and can control that part of my OCD but the sexual staring episodes . I am at my wit’s end and can barely function at work because of it .
Thank you Nathan for your comments on this, I am sorry you are having similar compulsions. Have you been receiving treatment or therapy for this as of yet? I am currently going to CBT therapy and I am planning to bring this specific compulsion up in the upcoming sessions.
Hey, It is due to just low esteem,increase your self- esteem,you can research about the same. believe me its work.
No treatment ongoing but have an appointment with NHS phone talk session which is a start in Feb 2022 but NHS is overwhelmed at the moment so no face to face therapy yet private costs to much and I don’t have the money
I feel you. It can take a while to get therapy happening, however it is great to know you have it coming in February. I had to wait a little while for mine, but I do hope that you knowing therapy is coming is helping to reduce some anxiety. It will be good for you to speak to a specialist about your specific compulsions and be able to manage them with the techniques they provide. Just stay strong until then and know better days are coming. They may even be able to get you in quicker! Who knows 🙂
Thanks mate I am doing some self help to.
Great stuff 🙂 things will improve, we’ve got this!
Do you have a way to distract your thoughts about your problem and go out to run or do something active that might take the stress away? You might also find a way to look up about OCD using nutrition to slow it down & bring your health back some other way. If you do, please remember to think about what the amount is & there will be a time condition that if healing works, will not go away overnight. Keep inspiring!
Thanks for commenting, improving my diet has certainly helped my anxiety go down, and with that a lot of my compulsions. Keeping busy, usually with a long walk, video editing or blogging also is a nice distraction too. The desire to stare (as a tic) is usually a sudden urge, and in that moment I do it or don’t do it. If it is because I am doing checking compulsions, I usually can’t do anything else until I have done the check.
It is hard to know whether it is Tourette’s or OCD, or both, but in those brief moments I do try to think of other things to distract myself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t! Thank you so much for your thoughts and words of support 🙂
your so very welcome! not many have ever been thinking of food or even what is growing around us!
Hey I don’t stare at genitals or stuff luckily, but I do stare at faces to see if they are better looking
Is this part of Starting OCD
Waiting for your response
Hello Vikram, unfortunately we won’t be able to give you a diagnosis here, as you would have to speak to a professional regarding your specific symptoms. However, if you feel you do this as an obsession and is becoming a problem in day to day life, it could well be. It would be recommended that you speak to your family doctor or a specialist if you can! Staring is a very common problem people experience and it manifests in a number of ways.
I don’t need diagnosis I have studied psychology as minor subject what I’m asking is does staring at faces is also part of it since you are the author of this article maybe you know about it in more detail
Apologies, I didn’t see this comment until now 🙂 faces can be a part of it, yes. Staring can be at anything, if it is causing stress or anxiety it can be at anything at all. The article focuses on staring at faces and people as this is something many people with OCD experience in particular.
If I rephrase it, is it all about genital staring or it also includes things like hair style and face need a bit clarification on this since almost every article on net mentions genital only
If I rephrase it, is it all about genital staring or it also includes things like hair style and face need a bit clarification on this since almost every article on net mentions genital only
If I rephrase it, is it all about genital staring or it also includes things like hair style and face need a bit clarification on this since almost every article on net mentions genital only
Articles will mention genitals so much because it’s one that brings people a lot of anxiety. However staring can be at anything. Basically, if you are becoming stressed, worried or anxious because of a staring issue (regardless of what you’re staring at), it could be a problem with OCD or another condition that needs addressing. I would definitely recommend speaking to a specialist as they can speak to you at length about your specific concerns.