I’m a 90’s kid, so many of my first tics occurred with a Nintendo 64 controller in hand. I would grind through games slowly, tics made the easy sections frustrating at best, and the difficult parts seem impossible.
Things haven’t changed much, so here is a list of games I have played from my childhood to present day, and how Tourette syndrome impacted the experience. I will have the same list of games on the OCD when gaming article, as the two conditions pretty much worked hand in hand like Koume and Kotake.
Zelda: Ocarina of Time
It’s only fitting I start with this magical game. One of the first games I ever played and remains my favourite game of all time.
I have no idea how many hours I spent exploring Hyrule, but what I do remember is how often I had to ‘roll’ on the ground, which I believe is the ‘A’ button.
It seems speed-runners use the roll feature to get around quicker, but I had to do a roll not for efficiency, but just a very strong urge to do so. Especially leading up to doors and cutscenes.
This video shows a speed comparison between rolling and running, which gives you a good idea of the audio my poor parents and sister had to put up with (they loved the game too, though).
Goldeneye 007
Shooting tics. Who would have guessed that in a shooting game, tics would revolve around revolvers?
It has been such a long time so I cannot remember how intelligent the NPC A.I was, but in quiet moments I had to spray fire. Being stealthy was difficult, and many of you will relate when it comes to visiting a library, a cinema etc in real life. Quiet places seem to be a catalyst for noisy tics.
And poor Natalya. I will never forget how difficult the mission ‘Control’ was for me, protecting Natalya at all costs from enemy fire. That mission took me MONTHS.
Months of me fighting my brain which was making me try to shoot her purely because I knew how much pressure there was for me to keep her safe if I wanted to complete the mission.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
What an iconic game. I could have listed any GTA here, but this one was right in the peak of my gaming when I had more time than ever to roam the world and see how creative Tourette can be.
Again, shooting was a huge part of the game and a big tic, especially knowing that it would increase my wanted level.
But, my most annoying tic here was pressing the buttons that would change the view to behind me, rarely did I need to do this outside of missions but because I could no longer see where I was going, it made the urge even stronger. This urge was also very strong when driving in missions when I needed to see where I was going.
Fifa 2004
I have such nostalgia for football games, helped by the incredible soundtracks that take me back whenever I hear certain songs.
I always had an urge to pass or shoot when I didn’t want to, which is obviously infuriating and embarrassing when playing against a friend. I found a way to slide my fingers or thumbs along the button with enough pressure to not press the button, but create a clicking sound that satisfied the urge.
Another tic here was ‘clicking in’ the analogue sticks, purely for the sound.
God of War
The first time I played the original PS2 game, I couldn’t believe it. The scale of the bosses and levels, the intense fighting and non stop action from the very beginning. For someone with an incredibly short attention span this game was the perfect remedy.
But with those epic boss battles, and needing to press certain buttons at the right time to execute certain attacks, I had to resist the urge to press the wrong buttons. This persisted through the various God of War games I played.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
COD consisted of many tics described on this list, but as online play was becoming the norm, I noticed I had increased humming tics.
Now people could hear me, I often had a vocal tics influenced by the headset I was wearing. I haven’t had tics that are actual words since I was a kid, so these tics really were to see if I could hum loud enough to hear it in the delay whilst everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to begin.
Aiming was another one, which didn’t always involve shooting. Purely aiming, which limited my field of view when I didn’t need to aim at all.
Marvel's Spider-man
One of the most recent games I have played, and one I LOVE to play. I had such a great time playing Spiderman 2 back on the PS2, and with so many people talking about Marvel’s Spider-Man I bought it once it was playable on PC. And it didn’t dissapoint.
Similar to God of War, the nature of the game keeps me hooked. The continuous swinging keeps me in a flow-like state and actually helps me with Tourette and OCD. I find myself fully immersed and less bored in-between action scenes which is where symptoms thrive.
But in-between swings I still find myself needing to do unnecessary flips not for the fun of it, but because of tics. And also jumping when on the ground running. It doesn’t stop me from having a wonderful time roaming a stunning New York City though.
This article is one of the most visited on the site, so I know there’s many gamers going through the same thing. I’d love to hear from you.
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8 responses
Hi Sam! I felt so related! Playing a Mario style game i can’t help jumpling and jumping and jumping… i’m not sure if it is because of the click sound.. or just the sensation of pressing the button. Sometimes i have to press the button really hard.. it happens a lot to me with the mouse left click.
Same thing here.. i lose attention with all the eyes and head movements… same things that makes very difficult for me to read a book.
First person shooters are a real challenge! When you have to keep stealthy but you can’t help pressing the trigger for one shot or jumping.
I will have to try FIFA again.. and see what things i discover..
Thank you for an honest and helpful blog!
Thank you Jorge for stopping by, I am please you can relate to this.
I can certainly relate with you too when you say that you are unsure if it is the clicking sound or the feeling of the buttons on your fingers… TS and tic disorders can really make it hard to know why we have certain urges to do things.
But it is nice to know I am not alone! I really appreciate your comments here 🙂
Nice post
Thank you John!
Thank you for this great post!
Thank you Emily! Much appreciated.
Hi, Sam!
Thank you for this post! 🙂
Hello Joshua, thank you for reading. Much appreciated 🙂