Mental contamination had me carrying out all kinds of rituals as a kid. It stressed me out, but I didn’t question it.
It was all I had even known. It was my normal.
Mental Contamination is one of the main types of OCD, not to be confused with physical-contamination OCD.
I first heard the term during therapy back in 2016. Since then I have been able to understand when it is trying to take hold.
Because each example needs an article of it’s own, I will briefly touch on it here but link to the main articles.
When mental contamination started taking over
My earliest memories of this are from childhood, book reading in particular.
I couldn’t read a book unless I started it ‘correctly’, in other words without interruption or mistakes.
This would ease the further into the book I got, but made the first chapters very difficult.
If I made a mistake, it is now mentally contaminated and I need to start over from the beginning.
I do this for so many things, and talk about it more in ‘Starting-Over OCD‘.
It then began to control me when gaming.
Mistakes and intrusive thoughts would contaminate the experience and make me want to start again, or stop altogether.
Contaminating special events
What should be memorable events often turn into stressful, intrusive nightmares.
The more I worry about thoughts ruining my experiences, the more intrusive thoughts plague my mind.
I have posted two articles of two trips that were almost ruined by OCD, a trip to New York City, and the 2016 Olympics in Rio.
Time can become contaminated
I remember the build up to the year 2000. I was just a kid, however I developed this strong urge to make midnight perfect, as if any mistake or bad thought would contaminate the 21st century as a whole.
Since then, I have suffered with time-related OCD. A bad thought after midnight can ruin the whole day, and put me off wanting to do things until I can put things right 24 hours later.
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